THE CLOWN WITH A FROWN

By Mandy Beard

 

When Sally the clown showed herself to the town of Dwibe, everyone got a kick out of her. The town folks found her funny.Sometimes she would trip into a mud puddle in front of the whole town just to get a good laugh. She liked it when people laugh and people like her too. The children adored her. She would give them a red balloons every Sunday and sometimes she gave them lollipops. She was the perfect clown. Very talented. And she had every reason to be happy.

. . . . .

But that day I just popped. And then I knew that I needed help.

. . . . .

So, I would walk into town, handing the children balloons on a Sunday afternoon. Then I grew a bit tired of clowning around and ran away home around noon. No one would see me until the next Sunday. I would just stay locked up in my trailer. It would be just me and my bottle of rum and I would be happy. No one really minded because they figured I was creating an act for the next Sunday. Ha! Everyone figured I was happy. However, I was not a total recluse. Sometimes I would meet the town folks down at the bar, and tell stories about being in the circus over shots of rum. They get a kick out of my stories. I'm a good story teller. Yes I am!

"I was in the circus since I was a child," I'd say. Being born into a family of foolish clowns. I was loved very dearly because I was a good clown," I'd say." I had a mom and a dad, an older brother and a sister. I was the youngest in the family. Therefore, I was spoiled; they called me "Cutie Pie." I entertained everyone and so everyone loved me. And as the people in the bar watched me, I'd do a little dance and a prance, then they'd walk away laughing, leaving me all alone.

I hated being all alone. My mind and soul overwhelmed me. When I was alone, I'd think melancholy thoughts .

THEY ARE ALL USING ME. I'M ONLY HERE TO ENTERTAIN THEM.

THAT'S MY ROLE IN LIFE. TO ENTERTAIN. NOTHING ELSE.

Then I would run inside my trailer and paint a clown face with a frown and cry. I wanted to wear the real mask instead of that phony smirk that's been rubbed across my face throughout my life . I wanted to express my reality. My real feeling . But, I just couldn't. Then I would dry my eyes, get back out to the crowd and clown around.

My family was interesting. I never saw my father around. He was always in business that I never really understood. My mother was sweet. Her breath was as sweet as Rum Balls. She was the kind of clown who always made me smile.

"My mother made me a real clown by the age of four. Yes indeed! She use to drag me out of bed and cake some clown paint on my face. Then I'd go and rehearse my act inside an old warehouse. My mother really made me understand how to be a clown."

I remember how much I hated her. She would drag me out of bed and you could smell the rum on her breath. She would say, "Oh Cutie Pie, just smile for me. It's only another rehearsal. " That's all I would do. One rehearsal after another. No play time. But, I made people laugh. That's all that matters, right?

"My brother was always mean to me. He treated me like a kid. But of course he said I was acting childish. He was older and experienced. " said Sally. We all laughed at the cuteness of Sally .

"YOU ALL THINK THIS IS FUNNY. WELL YOUR ALL A BUNCH OF IGNORANT FOOLS. ALL OF YOU ARE USING ME TOO. YOU PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN .

" I remember he sat me down in the chair. I did an awful performance . I was suppose to throw pie at the joker, but I missed my aim at everyone of them. It made the crowd laugh, but it wasn't part of the pefformance. So he made me sit down. I was well aware of what was going to happen to me and was scared "Now Sally, lets get this straight. This is how you throw a pie," he said. He had about thirty steel pans filled with cream pie, he se/d OK are you ready, this is for your own good. Sally you need to ream. " I started to panic, saying, "NO,NO PLEASE DON'T!" But he started throwing them at me . He would laugh hysterically." See Sally this is fun!" I laughed a little . Then I couldn't help but cry. He wouldn't stop until all thirty pans were thrown. My face was bruised all over. But I had to leam my lesson somehow. And there was face paint to cover the bruises.

. . . . .

Lately, Sally the clown has been coming to town as usual with her red balloons and smiling at the folks. But there seems to be something peculiar about her. Something in her face. It seems as though her white face paint has a grayish undertone. A cold, gray, stone, face. Something about her smile.... Sometimes a smile looks too big . This was one of them. It's frightening because it's not real. There's something about her act too. She seems so nervous and shaky. No one really laughs . Some force themselves to laugh but it isn't real. Sally the clown seems unhappy. And the town folks saw it clearly. We became suspicious and created lies about her. We just wanted to know what was wrong. But she would just keep herself locked up in that trailer of hers, not speaking to anybody.

. . . . .

As a teenager, I still felt alone. People still laughed with me and loved me. I was a wondefful clown. But I was possessed by my inner turmoil, making me unhappy. All I wanted was to be a human being. And I prayed for someone to help me.

" I met my lover one day" I said to the crowd", A fellow clown named Georgy Porgy. We met at the peanut stand and he handed me a red balloon. There wasn't a rose in sight so that was all he could give me. Georgy Porgy fell in love with me during my "Mud Slide" performance. And soon enough I fell in love with him too. We would meet together every Sunday, for this was the only day off from the crowds of the circus. Georgy Porgy would hand me a red balloon and ~we'd walk and talk about our lives." The crowd gave me a big sigh "Oh Sally,that's so cute."

THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMA IN MY LIFE . I AM NOT INNOCENT-- ONE BIT . WHY ARE THEY SUCH FOOLS? THEY JUST CANT SEE MY PAIN. NO, NOT YET. SOMEDAY THEY WILL SEE.

"My older sister Peggy never had a boyfriend and always seemed a bit jealous of me. She was never celled Cutie Pie."Sally says to the crowd. "I guess I could say she was quite ugly. She had these big hairy warts all over her face and she had very bad cold sores." Sally said. She told Sally the warts were from the clown paint irritating her face, and the sores were from a dirty love fling. So, she never had a real boyfriend, and was very jealous of Sally and Georgy. All the apish men in the crowd requested Sally's sisterts phone number.

Georgy gave me such beautiful balloons . I loved him so much because of it. No one ever really gave me a present. So when I saw Peggy in my room laughing hysterically, popping each and everyone of my balloons, my heart was broken. But they are only cheap balloons, right?

. . . . .

Georgy opened Sally up. Digging out a lot of dirt built up inside of her. But Sally once took her freedom of feeling too far, forcing upon her family a speech of the Bizarre.

. . . . .

I completely opened myself up to Georgy. He gave me a sense of freedom, something I've never had. For once I felt human and that was all that I wanted. But soon enough, things became too perfect for me. Bad things always happen to good people. But I had to say somethin~hold it in any longer,

" You all are using me. Im only here to entertain you, You laugh with me then spit in my face. I hate you. I've always hated you. Leave me alone!"

They finally left me alone . They decided to grotesquely banned me from the circus to keep me away from Georgy. Georgy was turning me into an animal. I needed to be tamed. And I needed to play the game on my own.

. . . . .

Sally the clown walks into town holding a bundle of red balloons. There's something in her face that looks peculiar. A grayish undertone, red eyes, and too big of a smile.

She hands the children balloons. Then she takes out a big needle and popped each red balloon, leaving the children in tears,she laughs hysterically. Then she got to sent to the penitentiary.

. . . . .

WHY DID I DO IT? I WAS DOING JUST FINE IN THIS TOWN. BUT THEY HAD TO SEE SOMEHOW . WHAT ELSE COULD I HAVE DONE?

. . . . .

Poor ol' Sally the Clown. Some say it was midAife crisis. Some say it was her time to frown. She gave everyone a good laugh and they all loved her too. So that day she popped herself. A big red, swollen balloon.